Light
Part 1/3
Part 1/3
We will be the story tellers of the Universe
because everyone wants to know what was it like being human living in forgetfulness and having to struggle from total darkness to the light. ~ Anakhanda Shaka Mushaba I wasn’t familiar with the word “Light” for two thirds of my life. Not as it applied to myself and assuredly not as it applied to “Cosmic Light”. Nevertheless, I have been on the path of Light for almost 50 years. I just didn’t know it.
Very early in my childhood I shut off. There was too much emotional turmoil for me to handle and no-one to help me through it, so I did what most children do in intense, abusive environments: I split off from myself in order to survive. I couldn’t allow myself to see or feel what I was surrounded with, so I stopped seeing and feeling. Then I created an “I’m fine” character, like a wooden Pinocchio. I looked like I was alive, I sounded like I was alive, but I was dead as wood inside, marionetting my way through school, family, relationships and jobs. Love couldn’t get in and there was no love to give out. Being dead within works well for a child as a survival mechanism, but it's disastrous for making a life. Once I began to heal, I discovered I was so full of sadness that I cried for decades. I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by exceptional Life teachers, healers and friends. And I’ve been incredibly lucky to have books literally fall into my lap at the exact moment I needed to read them. My life path is the living example of “When the student is ready the teacher appears.” For that has been the case since I was born. My journey to Light has taken two distinct phases: The first going within psychologically and emotionally to heal wounds and traumas. The second, going within Spiritually to find Cosmic Light. And in that order, which was fortunate for me, and actually outlined as a way in the Bible: “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar,
and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” ~ Matthew 5: 23, 24 I take that to mean, first, clear your inner channel (as much as you can) of personal problems: Resentments, hurts, bitterness, trauma, etc. And then, when you’re clear of that, or at least clear of levels of that, you can meditate and dive into Cosmic Light within and without.
It makes sense. If you’re angry, meditation is out of the question. If you “hate” someone, you can’t just ignore it or turn it into a prayer like, “Please destroy this person”. No! Light is Love. One of the blessings coming from a family wracked with mental illness and addiction is that asking for help was commonplace and not frowned upon. I’m deeply grateful for that. In my family, going to a therapist was as normal as going to the grocery store. I have passionately sought “Mental Health” all my life. But “Mental Health” is still, unbelievably, a taboo subject in 2018. Most people still won’t even discuss it and frown upon those who need “help” or “rehab”, who grapple with addiction, or bi-polar, or whatever else. The truth is we ALL have emotional issues and deserve compassion. The fact is not everyone is willing to admit it or face it. And it makes sense that there would be “disapproval” in a dark world for Mental Health. God forbid Humanity heals itself. Then it becomes too formidable to control by the dark powers that were. If you are a Humanity that knows itself as Divine Light, you cannot be controlled. Much effort by the dark overlords has been put into making Humanity forget its true Multi-Dimensional Light Self, and that it is One with All There Is. “Divide and conquer” was the dark method in all areas: Religion, Health, Business, Finance, the Arts, Science, Media, Politics, etc. And that method has worked very well for darkness for thousands of years. However, it is my opinion that the slow disintegration of the dark Third Dimensional world that we are currently witnessing, is the direct result of Humanity “waking up” to itself as Light. And we are doing that by “healing within”. This world has been blessed by the appearance of Masters from time to time who deliver timely messages that uplift the masses: Buddha with compassion. Jesus with love, Yogananda with meditation, etc. But also impactful were the studies of Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud circa 1875. That blew the whole healing Humanity process wide open. We learned from them that we had an “emotional within” and that the Health of our “psychological within” was essential for a happy life. I came from a family that convinced me I deserved nothing. In their defense, they were sick, but for many years I believed them. So I lived repelling goodness in any form because I couldn’t conceive of my worthiness to receive it. Wonder Woman has wristlets that repel Evil, but I lived as though I had wristlets that repelled Good. Anything good that came my way, I instantly rejected. By shutting myself down to survive, I built myself a personal Bizarro World. Everything was upside down. Good was bad. Wrong was right. Cruelty was Kind. Insane was Normal. Hate was Love - this was not happiness. I remember reading a sentence from a Louise Hay book early in my Light-path that utterly shocked me. It was so revolutionary, I actually ducked my head fearing someone might see me read it. Hay wrote, “We are not here to survive. We are here to thrive.” I couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t be talking about me? Everyone else deserves to thrive, but not me. I felt I had just read Karl Marx, it was that shattering to my Bizarro World. In that lightless world, Lack was Plenty, so any hint of cornucopia was not for me. But the Divine Hand had other plans for me, and I have been led, as on a Hansel and Gretel-like path. Instead of following white pebbles or bread crumbs, I have been following Cosmic crumbs to Light. Light
Part 2/3 When you continuously cultivate Light, you realize it’s a tangible thing, it’s palpable. Although Light is there for you 24/7 because you ARE light, it is especially there for you when you really need it, like in the face of darkness. 
Paramahansa Yogananda
“The most important thing
about the unmothered child is that internally there is a light that will never go out.” ~ 'Warming the Stone Child' Myths and Stories about Abandonment and the Unmothered child, by Clarissa Pinkola Estés So - my first path to Light was psychological. Healing emotional traumas. And learning that, tiny as the spark may be, I had a Light within. What this Light was and where it came from, I did not know.
After many years of learning to become my own self, and not a parrot of others’ thoughts and ways, I arrived at the point where I wanted to meditate. I’d learned about constantly going within to look at and fix things that weren’t working in my life, but I wanted something deeper. I wasn’t searching for God. In fact, I come from a family that abhorred the very word “God” because they’d had Spirit drummed out of them by Religious rules and regulations. My mother via a Catholic convent school, and my father via three weekly attendances to the Methodist church. Pop would sometimes mutter, “Methodists never had any fun. You couldn’t drink, smoke, dance or play cards. You weren’t allowed to DO anything.” My parents rejected “Religion” as a result of unhappy childhood experiences with it. The sorrow for them is that they entirely missed out on “Spirit”: the Light in all things. However, my parents’ rejection of dogma was a great boon to me because I wasn’t raised in a Religion. I was baptized Episcopalian and attended church and Sunday school intermittently for a couple of years, but that was only because my parents felt I “should”, not because they believed it would do me any good whatsoever. My freedom, therefore, from Religious doctrines meant that when I set out to seek Cosmic Truth, in the form of ancient texts like the Bible, Bhagavad Gita, Dhammapada, etc. I could read them with an open heart and access some of that wisdom without prejudice. I didn’t know where to go to learn how to meditate, but a friend, providentially, almost thirty years ago, handed me a copy of AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A YOGI by Paramahansa Yogananda. I devoured it from cover to cover and consider it one of the greatest books ever written. Yogananda could take the most abstruse wisdom, or complicated Cosmic Law, and convert it to fun and simplicity itself. Happily, at the back of the book, there was the offering of a Home Meditation Course by Yogananda. I immediately applied and spent several years receiving lessons every two weeks. I do not claim Yogananda as my Guru. That feels too lofty for me. I do claim him as my Teacher, although I am an undisciplined student. Nevertheless, by following Yogananda’s suggestions as best I can, I feel I have been unceasingly blessed and Divinely led for more than a quarter of a century. Yogananda once said, “I am the soul. I have a body”. It doesn’t get much clearer than that, does it? We simply have to realize ourselves as Soul. As Light. As immortal. As One with All There Is. Or more accurately, re-realize! (No small feat for a 3D Human.) By constantly praying, meditating, blessing, affirming, envisioning and steering my thoughts to their highest expression, my life has transformed. I did not seek God, or Cosmic Light, but I found it. Gradually. Naturally. With no-one shoving it down my throat. As a logical realization from going within, going within, going within. Linda Dillon once told me that because so many in our generation have done the inner work continuously and deeply, those that come after us won’t have to. I find that heartening. I also believe that those that come after us won’t be born in the Third Dimension. They will be born in Higher Dimensions where traumas are not inflicted, and one can evolve in a realm of happiness, as opposed to one of suffering. Light
Part 3/3 Light is there for me, even in the darkest of places. 
Finding light within does not necessarily mean you then have a peachy, cushy, challenge-free life. Look at the lives of Saints. Or the lives of masters. Dear Lord.
But finding Light within is a big help. I wouldn’t know where else to look for the highest expression, or highest action. When faced with a bad relationship, or cruel relative, or job you don’t like, or illness, trauma, confusion, tragedy - when anything overwhelming comes up, turning within and asking for Divine direction is, for me, essential. After I’ve exhausted my outer search for wisdom and advice, I need to go within and figure out what feels right to me. During the last seconds of his life, Mahatma Gandhi fell to the ground forgiving his assassin and calling God’s name. Gandhi either said “Rama” or “He Ram”, which translates to “Oh God”. (There’s a debate going on now as to what Gandhi actually said, but I believe Paramahansa Yogananda.) Yogananda said, “Gandhi’s entire life was lived for those last few seconds”, dying with God’s name on his lips. Gandhi cultivated God his entire life. And at the moment of his death, indeed, on his last breath, God was on his lips and in his mind, heart and soul. I can claim a miniscule, marginally-similar experience to the Mahatma’s, in that, in the face of darkness, God and Light were instantly on my lips and in my heart. I am utterly confident now, of my anchorage in the Light. I do not claim that I have yet realized myself as Light, or else I’d be a master, but at least I know the goal. A girl can dream. So here’s my story: About a year ago, I awoke in the middle of the night and saw a dark, cloaked figure standing right beside my bed looking down on me. I peered up into the hooded face but couldn’t see one. However, I instantly declared: “You don’t scare me! I love light! I love love! I am Light! I call in Archangel Michael, Gabrielle and Emmanuel to come here and blaze their Light! Michael’s sword is over your head! I love kindness. I love peace! I love goodness! I love happiness! Jesus, Babaji and Yogananda are standing beside me. Archangel Gaia is here with all her might protecting me! Divine Mother of All There Is plunges me, my puppy, my room, my house, my town, my country, my planet, my Universe in blazing light light light!!! ” etc. I kept on ranting about Light and Love and watched, mesmerized, as this black robed figure whooshed out the window. Ha! If anything, I felt indignant. If that had happened to me years earlier, I’d have been terrified. Menacing cloaked beings are not my idea of entertainment. I don’t watch scary movies, they frighten me. So this is not a dream I’d conjure for myself. I was told later, by some Healers, that this was a 4th Dimensional being, that clearly had to get the heck away from me. I follow, as best I can, the footsteps of Yogananda, who once said, “Fear is afraid of me!” And I must tell you, that is exactly how I felt in that moment facing my worst nightmare. I wasn’t afraid, I felt strong and certain that Light was my protection and shield. And it was. As is always the case with supernatural experiences, the reader is free to believe or not believe, as you wish. Here’s what I know: If we go within and re-connect with our Divine Spark, with our Multi-Dimensional Light Self, with our Highest Self that is One with All There Is, then it's game over for darkness of any kind to mess with us. I speak to that individually and collectively. Light, if cultivated and reclaimed, is the most powerful force in all Creation. However, I also subscribe to “Fake it till you make it”. You don’t necessarily have to know yourself as Divine Light. You can be a kind, thoughtful and loving person anyway, and most are on this planet. I am certain that kindness is the fundamental quality of Humanity, but since we’ve been horribly messed with, mind-controlled, our Divine DNA sliced and diced, and God knows what else, then reclaiming our wholeness in order to hold the Light has become imperative for Ascension into the Fifth Dimension or higher. We are each powerful beyond measure. By thinking the highest. Acting the highest. Blessing. Affirming. Praying. Meditating. Not engaging in the drama, trauma and deception of the 3D matrix. By helping where we can and whenever we can - we are Holding the Light. By sending loving thoughts to Gaia, to her Kingdoms and to Humanity, we are bringing into manifestation the Golden Age of Gaia. For me, holding the Light begins with Self. “Love thy neighbor as thyself.”
~ Matthew 22:39 If I could reduce the Bible to one phrase, that would be it. Jesus’ great suggestion, and according to him, the second greatest “commandment”. The first being, "Love the Lord thy God with all thy Heart, Soul and Mind".
What is the common word in both of Jesus’ suggestions? Love. What is Love? Light. |
