The first three Prayers of my life
By Contributing Author Michaela Wider
By Contributing Author Michaela Wider
I don't know if the title of this piece is actually true but at least I cannot remember having prayed ever before. My contempt and disgust for organized religion kept me from any form of conventional prayer and my contempt and disgust of the Law of Attraction and similar techniques kept me from trying to manifest along those lines. The latter was due to the warnings of some teachers that if you manifest from the brain, which is dual in nature, you will create what you want but also to the same extent the exact opposite of what you want. So, for instance, praying for peace from the brain will create peace but also the same amount of war. They said that the way to go was to enter the heart and let the heart dream. They said that the heart will never dream up anything that will harm anyone anywhere. All this made perfect sense to me.
But one cold and sunny day about two months ago a very close and beloved person came to me in utter despair. I felt the veils of darkness that surrounded him pulling me down and I found no words. I suggested going for a walk with the dogs and he agreed, thank god! We walked up a hill and sat down on top of it. Neither of us spoke. Above us the sky opened up wide and clear and we could see far across the land. He was completely wrapped up in the dark night of the soul and my heart was clenched in pain for him. I pulled off my boots and socks and put my bare feet on the earth to ground myself and decided to do a little ritual. I imagined the holon of balance, which has the shape of an octahedron, around myself and also one around him (a tool given by the Hathors through Tom Kenyon), then I started to "pray".
I can't remember the exact words of what I said but it was something along the lines of "Listen guys, I am not praying for myself, I am praying for this person sitting next to me. Please, if it is for the greatest good for all, let him be able to breach the dark veil of despair and open up to the possibilities that he desires...."
I felt a wave of relaxation and peace, almost bliss, sweep over me and sneaked a side glance at him to see whether this beautiful energy was touching him also. It didn't look like it! But that somehow couldn't phase me in that moment. I just felt happy.
A week later his situation had changed completely and he had gotten exactly what he in his despair thought he was never going to get. I secretly said " Wow! thank you guys! I think that worked!".
In the weeks leading up to the 29th of December I felt like I was being attacked by a never ending stream of negative, violent thoughts. It felt as if it were coming from outside, but I wasn't sure and did it even matter? Every second I was bombarded by thoughts filled with blood and destruction. Now, I was wrapped in a dark veil of despair. On the 29th of December I decided I had to do something about it. So I walked up the same hill with the dogs, sat on the same spot and again took off my boots and socks. It was again a perfect clear and sunny day. I wanted to do the little ritual, this time for myself. But I couldn't do it. Thoughts of destruction kept bombarding me. A cloud in the distance rising up from the ground evoked the vision of a nuclear mushroom cloud etc.. etc...
So at last I thought "OK, I can't do the ritual so what else can I do?". And then the words of the Lord's Prayer started to come up. I had to piece them together bit by bit (the non-Mandela-affected version) because I don't think I had ever prayed it before. When it was finished I decided to walk on and noticed after some time that the attacks of horrible thoughts had stopped. It wasn't a spectacular realisation, I just "forgot" to think horrible things and at some point it dawned on me "wow! I'm actually feeling quite good".
The day before New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve itself continued that way. I felt better and better.
Then on the first day of the new year, on Sunday, I again took a walk with the dogs up on the hills. It had been quite cold the night before, -10 degrees Celsius, and all the frost crystals, the jewels of nature, were glittering in the sunlight. I passed a patch of grass where the sun had already melted the frost and my eyes fell on the golden-yellow flower of a dandelion, blooming on a short little stalk. I greeted her as I walked past but something pulled me back and a voice in my head said "What??? Here you are looking at a little miracle, a flower blooming on the first of January after a very frosty night and you just want to pass it by?!" So I walked back, sat down, looked at this beautiful golden flower turning its head towards the sun, a mirror image of the sun. Off went the boots and socks, silent went the dogs, silent went my mind and open went my heart.
The connection between the sun and the dandelion felt so strong I could almost see it as a thick cord of light. My heart opened so wide and I was overcome by a feeling of the sheer joy of being alive, a feeling I haven't had for years, a feeling that reminded me of being a child. The world lay before me, shimmering, new, perfect, as if it had just been created, pristine and pure. And a prayer without words rose up from my heart and I felt absolute awe.
I always wonder how the dogs who love to scamper about and sniff their way along the hedges always become so silent and motionless with me when I sit down on the ground and contemplate. In this moment of bliss it was no different: there they sat facing the sun in reverence it seemed, and only when I squeezed out a little fart did one of the dogs turn his head, look at me and wag his tail ever so slightly and politely.
When my mind kicked in again I wondered if the Archons had lost their power, if there was a wave of cosmic grace sweeping the world, if I was going to hear from others that they had similar experiences. And then there was a voice in my head that said "Don't expect it to be all smooth sailing from now on. Just be grateful for what you experienced today". And I was.
As to others having a similar experience: it didn't happen. Not on the One People's Round Table Show, not from my friends and family. At least not yet.
About the Author:
For the last five years I have been living a little bit like a hermit in an old railroad house, with no warm water but a warm wood stove and a garden. No car, but good animal friends and a handful of good human friends and family near by. My life has turned more and more inward during this time. I measure distance by how long it will take me to walk somewhere. That has really changed my perception. My past seems far away. I can vaguely remember that I had a job in my profession as an occupational therapist. I love to contemplate and meditate with closed and open eyes.
Embracing the mystery
Hold that one desire
And on the wings of sound silence
Fly to the heart of the Lord of Love